Insane to say YES
There comes a time in every mothers life when you have to decide… Do I risk the fine breaking the law by driving down the side of the motorway in peak hour traffic? OR do I accept that my car is about to be covered in poo….
All I can say is… Thank goodness my sister was driving, and next time my 1 year old is saying “Uh oh, Uh oh” I should listen up… But this is how my week has gone down. Packing wet wipes into the side of a shitty nappy to stop the flow, after wiping down my poo laden child, 8 months pregnant and leaning over the passenger’s seat, while screaming at my sister to pull over ANYWHERE…
My iron and haemoglobin is terribly low at the moment and causing extreme fatigue and my iron pills make me vomit and nauseous all day if I take them, I agreed with the midwife to go to the Dr who gave me an iron infusion.
Before they had even started I had almost fainted on the table. No idea why, since needles, or the thought of brown stuff being injected into me does nothing to make me scared… Although, frankly I was just grateful to be lying down by this stage without having to watch my baby for a minute. 40 minutes later and my blood pressure was still extremely low, but I told them I’m fine, I’m an athlete. Haha I think they noticed my belly but let me go home anyway.
I also went out one night to a friend’s birthday/divorce/celebrate anything party and turned up with a last minute present. I had been so stressed and sick this day. She said she was so happy I made it; I said “Don’t be so quick in saying that, I only got you the cheapest, most expensive Champagne that I could find on sale, and I have no idea what it even is… Plus it broke the gift bag.” But after a few waters on the rocks I was soon into the groove I used to have going on…
I found some unsuspecting friends of hers I had never met and quickly told them war stories about the time my gym/house burnt down and I was dehydrated for a body sculpting comp the next day, trying to escape and getting jammed between the door and the wall with a guitar in one hand and my 4 year old boy on my other hip. Here I had to make the decision what to take. If you think that was an easy decision when you are so stupidly malnourished that you don’t even realise for a while that the gym being on fire is not a normal every day occurence, then you may see my predicament. In the end I went back for the guitar and managed to save the flour, sugar and my scroggin. One of the guys said “You are the most interesting person I have met in 2018”. I gave him a thumbs up, grinned stupidly and said “I have to get home, enjoy your night”.
From having a laugh and a banter with him though, him being a global strategist, and swapping funny stories, he said I inspired him to say YES more. Now I can definitely think of a time earlier in the week when a NO would have been better.. (letting Amalia eat all the blueberries before driving home) but I realised that more often than not… I say yes without thinking. I’m not saying that it’s a good thing either way, because I have often bitten of more than I can chew, got into situations that panick me or cause anxiety as I have NOOOO idea what I’m doing or made a complete fool of myself (which people say grow you as a person, however on reflection of some things, it really just stressed me out unnessesarily). However I can say I have led a full life and tried most things that I have been fortunate enough to be given the opportunity.
These days it’s harder to commit fully to anything that comes my way (due to family commitment), but as I get stronger and my mental acuity starts to return I notice that there are small opportunities that do come my way. It wasn’t all that many months ago that I felt I had no hope or passion left in me. Most of the time I am confined within my house and don’t get out that much, but through the power of social media and technology I can actually still attend meetings and connect with people over the phone or social media, emails etc and given that I can communicate, and somewhere in my head I do know what I want and need, I can actually start creating and attracting opportunities that do align with what I can realistically achieve right now and where I see myself in the future.
Sometimes amongst the poo, vomit and fatigue, it just takes a gentle reminder IN YOUR FACE that in fact YOU WERE INSANE. That being said, if you were once one way, what’s stopping you being that again? I may never again shoot an AK47, or punch someone in the head for points, but that “crazy” that gave me those experiences is still there. There’s nothing stopping me using it to add gherkins to the fruit salad, becoming president or designing a new lifestyle goal that I can achieve around the kids and poo.
So let me ask you; Are you the most interesting person you have met in this short year? There’s nothing stopping you from being that person you always thought you would be.
Just the word NO.
Oh and my 15 year old found my first grey hair… GAH…